The Art of Allowing: Harnessing the Power of Feminine Energy

There is much strength in adopting and embodying the feminine, the lunar, the yin

El camino del sol por ser luminoso, caliente, y seco necesita del camino de la luna que es oscuro, frío, y húmedo; por eso intercambian sus rutas todos los días para dar vida y alegría a la Tierra [...]. S.J.A. Valerazo, La Selva, Sus Pueblos, Su Historia.

Location: Watkins Glen, New York

The Myth of the Sun and The Moon

Indigenous communities of Ecuador have mythological stories that spark love, sadness, joy, and an overall reverence for the natural world. One of these concerns a myth about the sun and the moon. To the Kichwa people, the Sun, “Indi” and the Moon, “Quilla” have their separate paths for a very specific reason: to maintain loving harmony between two distinct and essential energies. The path of the sun due to its luminosity, warmth, and dryness needs to cross paths with that of the moon which brings darkness, cold, and dampness. It is believed that this is why they exchange their routes every day and in such a way, it brings about life and joy to the Earth. S.J.A. Valerazo, La Selva Sus Pueblos, Su Historia.

The path of the Sun for is luminosity, warmth, and dry needs the path of the Moon which is dark, cold, and damp; it’s why they interchange their routes every day, to give life and joy to the Earth.

Source:  S.J.A. Valerazo in La Selva Sus Pueblos, Su Historia, 21 (2002).

In modern times, the sun is associated with the yang or the masculine, and the moon with the yin or the feminine. However, according to the Kichwa mythology, the Moon was said to originally be a man who fell in love with a sweet woman without knowing that she was his sister, a sister who was given away by his parents. When he finally discovered it, blinded by passion and disappointment, he decided to transform into a woman as he wanted to brighten the cold nights with his light. Meanwhile, his sister, full of pain and sadness, attempted suicide by throwing herself from a cliff. But Mother Nature, compassionate of her creations, transformed her into a sparrow hawk. This story helps me to preface my perspective on the binary understanding of masculine and feminine energies. I believe, as the yin and yang illustrate, that we’re all one regardless of our gender. Within us, there is both the solar and the lunar, the Warrior King and the Oracle Queen, the divine masculine and the divine feminine, regardless of how we appear physically. 

Women. The term can be limiting. But as I speak of women here I mean women as the embodiers of the predominantly feminine and not women in a binary genderful way.

The moon, according to Cherokee teachings, is a beautiful young woman. The moon glows in the dim light and, the darker the sky, the brighter the moon’s light. The moon is “respected for her kindness, compassion, and gentleness, [...] she moves calmly and peacefully, always offering her comforting presence to those around her, though she [is] desperately shy.” (Walking on the Wind, M. T. Garett, 10-11, 1998). But note that the fact that a moon can’t possibly be a woman,  yet embodies feminine energy shows exactly why the notion of the feminine cannot possibly be limited to our conception of the binary. This conversation is genderless. 

Imbalances of the Masculine and Feminine

We all carry a mix of feminine and masculine energy inside of us, the yin and yang, the warmth and cold, the dry and moist. I speak of women here because my language and thoughts are limited to my heterosexual experience and social conditioning. Within the limiting context of society, as we know it, today the world celebrates International Women’s Day; there is, of course, much to celebrate. And much to contemplate as well. Today I contemplate the notion that feminine energy is genderless and the oppression of the feminine has affected everyone, including the genederless planet, and the masculine patriarchs. 

The deep imbalances of the feminine and masculine within and without are right before our eyes. The oppression of the feminine is evident by observing the intense inflammation we are all experiencing within ourselves and the intense inflammation that’s wreaking havoc on the natural world and destroying communities in Gaza and Congo. If the world we see is a reflection of ourselves, do the chronic states of disease we’re all experiencing bear any relation to the world outside? Whether diseases are physical, mental, or emotional, the fact that diseases exist at such palpable degrees points to a problem. 

In his book, Walking on the Wind, Michael T. Garrett describes masculine energy by personifying the Sun. He describes the Sun as a young man “who would offer himself as a helper to those in need.” However, while Sun wanted to be of service to those in need, according to the Cherokee teachings, Sun was curious and “often wandered the sky appreciating all of the beautiful things there were to see,” and as a result he “sometimes [forgot] his “purpose.” (M.T. Garrett, 10, 1998). 

This passage reminds me of my friend Pablo Pintado's description of the jungle man as one who had to give food, shelter, and safety. As someone who penetrates a body, who leads a tribe, who dominates his own mind in the face of fear. But Pablo’s jungle man is not strong when he wears the armor. Plabo’s jungle man is strong when he is loving. It makes me wonder whether the masculine essence lies in embodying a deep reverence for the feminine - the divine feminine within himself, the energy of love and softness. Individuals are born with courage; individuals have the responsibility to generate courage for themselves. Could it be that for a man to be happy truly, he must learn to generate the courage to love?  Summarizing Pablo’s portrayal of masculine energy, masculine energy can be said to be rooted in responsibility, action, discipline, and assertiveness; all of which require him to generate courage within himself. Like the sun, masculine energy is about generating energy. 

The moon, on the other hand, embodies the yin, the feminine. She doesn't generate, she cultivates and fosters in her still and moist nature.

Men’s hunting required women’s ability to trust in them. I see this trust being displayed in two ways: (i) trust in others (i.e. the men who went out to look for resources), and (ii) trust in themselves to maintain a safe environment at home and build a tight-knit community. In ancient societies, while men went out to hunt they were not perceived as being more powerful merely because of their active hunter role. Trust was key to the survival of the entire tribe and it was women who embodied this quality. Trust built community and these were indispensable to everyone’s survival. Thus, it was women who were indispensable to community building. Without women’s trust there would have been no communities. As so in the jungle, I see the women’s role as immensely powerful. 

The Feminine and the Art of Allowing

Drawing from the symbolism of hunter-gatherer dynamics, I propose that the feminine essence is rooted in the ability to trust and more specifically in the ability to allow.

When women allowed the men to go out and hunt, they exerted in that moment, a giant act of trust. At that moment, women surrendered their control of hunting. Allowing is an art (a challenging one for the modern individual who is conditioned to do and act). In the context of the jungle, it was her ability to surrender action and embody the stillness of trust that enabled the jungle woman to foster survival for herself and others. I think this is why we hear that when a woman in the family heals, when she succeeds, the entire family heals and succeeds as well.

Of course, allowing is a difficult task because of the chronic need for control that corrupts all individuals today. Since the feminist movements in the 1900s, women have been striving for the freedom to make things happen because the patriarch's oppression disempowered not only women but the divine feminine within the man himself. Although these movements have freed many privileged women, these movements have also removed us from the feminine, making us think that there is power if and only if we tap into the masculine. However, allowing is powerful for it takes self-discipline and self-control to ignore our urge to control outcomes. Humans, men, women, heterosexuals, and homosexuals, as I explained above, this is genderless regardless of the limiting language, we all struggle with self-discipline greatly, as well as with the obsessive need to take control.

And so perhaps it’s worth exploring femininity and taking steps to honor that energy that lives within us regardless of our gender. Exploring the feminine can look like mastering the art of allowing, which, in other words, requires us to surrender our desire to control, our expectations, to surrender our attachment to ideal outcomes, our attachments.

Healing the Feminine to Bring About Miracles

Because everyone is so in their masculinity, I believe it is important to be intentional about making room to embody the feminine. In doing that, I believe we would be closer to a different version of ourselves, we would develop different strengths, we would be in harmony with nature, and we would allow room for miracles. One way I've personally noticed an imbalance in my energies is in my approach to love. Allowing myself to be loved has not been easy. For many people, giving love is so easy, but receiving is harder and it was for me. Sometimes we want to receive love a certain way and we close ourselves off to love that looks differently. I have had to actively will myself to open myself up to receive love from a man. Being in a position to receive love and allowing ourselves to be loved is a delicate act, it is a vulnerable act. And no matter how committed we are to experincing this, I think we will tend to default to the toxic masculine; which is why I believe there is great value in intentionally making room to connect with the feminine.

This exploration requires me to trust in my ability receive and to allow myself to be loved; this can be a difficult task when your subconscious doesn’t necessarily trust that you could be loved. And so that is the work. Allowing, trusting, and surrendering is hard work that requires us to develop our lunar strengths.

The feminine energy is not a passive one. I mean, it is the home where miracles are created! In its most literal way, women create babies; in their bodies, they allow life to unfold. Other miracles include an individual's capacity to foster beautiful feelings and connections, relationships and community.

This post is an invitation for us to celebrate the feminine by honoring its creative power so that we may experience the miracles that want to unfold through us. One way to honor it is to set an intention for what you want to allow into your life, what do you want to host? Do you want a fertile environment to host the miracle of a new human life? Do you want a fertile environment to host your new dreams and goals? Do you want to a fertile environment for new relationships to form? 

To host what is miraculous, the female body prepares its environment, an environment of fertility in which life can grow. With slowness, care, and nourishment, we prepare for miracles to unfold. How can we apply this to our lives? One way might be to resist the urge to embody the solar all the time. The masculine energy says: “I make it happen”. The feminine energy says: “I allow it”. In the modern world, the feminine has been corrupted by the toxic masculine leading to chronic destruction within and without. On this, Nidhi Pandya has a message that might help us strike a balance: 

I’m here to tell you that women have become such solar beings; women are supposed to be lunar beings. We’ve become so dry and hot. We work out too much. We work too hard. We’re too stressed all the time. We drink too much caffeine, too much alcohol, everything that dries us and heats our bodies. No wonder we have chronic inflammation and we have hard bodies. We are supposed to have amniotic fluid, breast milk, flowing juices, anything that’s fertile is liquid. Let’s bring back that lunar. Let’s take some rest. Let’s go for massages. Let’s listen to water sounds. Let’s bring those floral fragrances back. Let’s just start being and stop doing. For this International Women’s Day, my wish for all modern women in the world is to understand that when a woman heals, the whole family heals. And for us to really start cultivating that healing within us [...] 

For this International Women’s day, my wish for all modern women in the world is to understand that when a woman heals, the whole family heals.

Source: INSTAGRAM @my_ayurvedic_life 

As we get curious about our femininity and find power in stillness, we can begin to appreciate the miracles of trust. Allowing something to happen may sound passive. But reducing the importance of the moon's light during the night would be a disservice to the profound harmony between day and night. Making something happen is attractive as it alludes to more agency and power, more control; sure there is much to look forward to on a sunny day of action. But to an extreme, doing, acting, and reacting makes us strangers to the power of simply being. And so perhaps it is worth exploring that side of us, especially today as we contemplate International Women's Day and this month as we prepare to enter the Spring equinox.

For now, I encourage us to reflect on this poem as an homage to the feminine within all of us:

make peace with all the women you once were

lay flowers at their feet

offer them incense and honey and forgiveness

honor them and give them your silence

listen.

bless them and let them be.

for they are the bones of the temple you sit in now.

for they are the rivers of wisdom leading you toward the sea.

//I have been a thousand different women

Source: Emory Hall from her book Made of Rivers.

Happy International Women's Day!