A Simple and Fulfilling Ritual to End the Year

Sometimes holidays bring about an odd sense of pressure, so here is a simple way to find joy.

On this last day of 2020 I have felt an odd feeling of rush, busyness, and pressure. I have especially felt pressure to check things off my list so I may start 2021 "fresh." For instance, I wanted to finish all work for my boss so that I can get closure until Monday and start "fresh" thereafter. I wanted to do laundry so that when I am back from my family's house I may hop into fresh sheets. I wanted to do a year in review on social media so that I may share with friends and family how important they were for me this year. I wanted to write this blog post to create one last memory on this space. I wanted to journal my goals and 2020 lessons so that I may bring these valuable nuggets of wisdom with me into 2021. I wanted to reach out to everyone who made my year special so that I may feel connected. I wanted to dedicate hours to a special project that my partner and I were starting. These are some of the boring (or maybe amusing) tasks that I believed would bring me joy on this last day of the year.

I have done only a few of these tasks, but not all of them were done in excellence, (only my laundry because I needed fresh sheets as a symbolic trophy of freshness). So, why did I feel this discomfort?

This discomfort is called resistance. When we feel discomfort (whether it's pain or frustration), it is a sign that we are resisting what is. For instance, when we complain incessantly about freezing temperatures it is because what is is not what we wish it to be – it is because we wish we were warm rather than frozen to death! It's a normal human tendency. We feel resistance when the reality is one thing and our wishes differ. Today, I felt this odd sense of rush and pressure because I wished I had more time to do all the tasks that would fulfill me. I was resisting the fact that my attempts to get joy out of completing all my tasks were not giving me joy because I was failing to complete my to-do's. As an alternative, I am choosing to practice gratitude.

When we feel discomfort, it is a sign that we are resisting what is.

Gratitude is a simple practice where we scout for things to be thankful for. This exercise usually forces us to look at the things we do have, rather than at the things we do not. This readies us to see the glass half full. Now, I must note that 2020 was a year that interrupted our normality, and with that, it brought about pain, loss, and grief for many. These tender emotions are enhanced when we are locked inside our homes. In these cases, we should not feel rushed to scout for a silver lining. That comes with time and you mustn't force the process.

In some cases, we should not feel rushed to scout for a silver lining.

Maybe my goals today were not aligned with the number of hours of just one day. But there is so much alignment that occurred today and this year that I can be grateful for. So, instead of letting myself be defeated by my half-empty glass, I plan to spend the next four hours saying thanks for my negative COVID-19 test that allows me to be physically next to my family today, my grandma who is healthy, the penne a la vodka that awaits me, the fact I got my renewed driver's license in the mail today, that I have a sweater and coat to keep me warm, the fact that I was able to Zoom with my beau and feel connected despite his being across the Atlantic... as I write this, I can already feel a flood of other things I am extremely grateful for. What we think about expands. Think about giving thanks, I promise you joy will expand.

What we think about expands.

So what is one thing that you can choose to be grateful for today? Can you take a few breaths to ground yourself and observe your family, your plants, and your surroundings, and give thanks for any of that?

Disclaimer: Please note that if you are experiencing pain and searching for something to be grateful for feels violent, keep it simple: simply be thankful that you are able to even feel because that shows that you have a pure heart and that your capacity to love is enormous. I assure you, that without your tender heart, this world would not be the same. So, thank you.

I hope you can all hang on to hope and bring it into 2021.

Happy New Year!

xxSulafa